


boundaries

by crimsonhope



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Caretaking, Dan and Phil World Tour 2018: Interactive Introverts, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 16:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15344178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsonhope/pseuds/crimsonhope
Summary: in a quiet hotel room, phil has some thoughts on boundaries.





	boundaries

phil wakes up and immediately realizes he's cuddling someone close to his chest. relief comes with realising it's just dan, his curls sticking all over the place and cheeks flushed naturally after a good night's sleep. he glances at the other bed in the room and sees that it's been used, so dan must have shuffled into his at night, needing a hug. phil doesn't exactly recall why, maybe it hasn't even been specified, since they've established long ago that this was okay. crawling into the other's bed when it gets bad, it was okay. they may have done it drunk a couple of times without any particular reason, too, but the result was all the same. it's okay.

-sorry- is the first thing dan mumbles as he opens his eyes, all sleepy and how phil loves him best sometimes, not moody and stubborn.

-it's okay- he replies and lets himself kiss the top of dan's head while he's still there, when he doesn't have to lean in much and make it all accented and awkward. just a messy, little peck instead. dan doesn't make an effort to move any further, laying there, warm and fuzzy against phil's chest, making him wonder how did they even get to this stage, and then out of it, and then back in again.

it's silent, and he closes his eyes again, sleepiness winning against the morning sunlight. resting his chin over dan's head and drawing his arms a little bit tighter around the younger boy proves to be much more pleasant, and that's exactly what he does, pushing any thoughts regarding responsibilities out of his head.   
five more minutes.

-'m gonna fall asleep again- comes a slurred sentence from below, the sound of dan's voice creating a strange, buzzing sensation against his ribs.

-shhh...- phil squeezes him closer, a little possesivly now, as if to force him to stop complaining. dan doesn't, in fact, complain back, so he deems the action victorious in his head. not to mention dan feels like a big teddy bear next to him, and it's just nice.

they do actually fall asleep again, for about an hour. it's significantly harder waking up now, even if it felt hard before, and phil hates himself a little, but not enough to wake up dan, who still seems to be snoozing next to him. he untangles himself gently from his embrace and leaves the bed, but not before pulling the covers up over dan slightly, out of habit. the room is quite hot and it's summer, however, his hand seems to be thinking for him. like it doesn't want to leave dan without a gesture of kindness or slight overprotectiveness, whichever it might be. phil honestly doesn't know anymore, he's experienced everything with dan. it comes like second nature.

he may be taller than him or slightly bigger physically, but he's still just little dan sometimes- a silly boy four years younger than phil who definitely doesn't need protection, but phil is still too caring and doesn't want him to experience many unpleasant things that come with adulthood, that he himself had to tackle alone. he knows it's life and everyone gets it thrown upon them, should learn to battle it on their own, but if he's there, who's to say they can't do it together?

he takes a shower and dan is sitting up next time he enters the room, keeping the covers up and around himself tightly, buried in. he shoots him a glance and phil immediately knows that something's up and it's not just one of his worse days, cause he learned to decipher that long ago.

-what's up?

-i'm sick- dan grumbles, pulling on the thick covers and shivering. he looks pale, a bit glass-eyed maybe, and phil doesn't like it. dan has the tendency to fall ill completely maybe once a year, but as if his body cramms any possibly aquired diseases throughout that time into a one, giant virus.

-yeah?- he struggles to respond as he strolls closer to the bed, lifting one hand and pressing it against dan's forehead softly. too warm.

dan leans away slightly, as if annoyed, but phil knows he just feels awkward.

-what hurts?- he asks instead.

-throat- dan's voice sounds calm and tired, but phil knows him well enough to recognise his best friend's version of 'whiny'- head, a bit, too- dan slithers down, curling up on himself with a frown on his face.

-can you do the flight tonight?

they're flying home this evening. phil would very much like to teleport there with a snap of his fingers right now.

-yeah, just... i really want to sleep. now.

-will you want any breakfast later?- phil would like to punctuate the question by running his fingers through dan's hair comfortingly, but something stops him.

-don't know- dan grimaces- 'm not hungry at the moment- because they both know phil will order something anyway, and have it ready for him whenever he feels like eating.

-okay, can i take your temperature, just to be sure?- a protest is on the tip of dan's tongue, but he cowers under phil's gaze. he remembers how last time it was literal pneumonia and he found out after a month, yet phil beat himself up just the same for not noticing as dan did himself for neglecting self-care.

-yeah...- he responds softly, shifting onto his back. phil fishes out a thermometer from somewhere, somehow, because it's phil and dan doesn't question it, and seconds later dan is holding it in his mouth, feeling stupid. however, the throbbing inside his head wins over the humiliation and he closes his eyes with a frown. phil catches that.

-do you want some pills for the headache? you haven't eaten, so i'm not sure...

-it's okay- he pulls the beeping thermometer out of his mouth and presents it to phil neglectfully, ready to roll around and sleep. he's still thechnically in phil's bed and it smells like him. or maybe like them, actually. it's comforting nonetheless.

-37 and a half*- he hears phil sigh and there's a second of guilt passing through him, because it's their last day here and he's potentially ruining it with his trashy immune system. but then comes the realisation that he wouldn't abandon phil if he was sick, because he genuinely wouldn't want to, and he knows they're going to stay in this room, together, once again, while everybody else is going out, because that's just who they are.

phil lets himself stand and frown at the thermometer for longer than it's probably necessary, but he doesn't really know what to do. they're not at home, he can't make dan tea and politely leave him alone, knowing he's perfectly comfortable in his own, cosy room, whilst simultaneously being close enough for phil to intervene if things get worse. they're not on tour, stuffing themselves with any acquirable medication to ensure they're fit enough to perform at night even if suffering from a cold. it's not critical, but it's new, and phil finds himself wondering what the boundaries are. if there are any. usually the rules are clear.

-i'm going to order breakfast- he informs softly, turning away and making his way to the hotel room telephone. dan doesn't respond and phil doesn't feel like he needs him to, so this doesn't change, at least.

he makes himself comfortable on the other bed, laptop on his lap, sorting through stuff that's not particularly important, but somewhat productive. he shots glances at dan, or rather his back wrapped in the duvet, still curled on his side. they don't cuddle at home, but they did on tour, when 'sick' often meant resting in small, uncomfortable spaces and having another body close could really improve the quality of one's rest, as it turned out. it was his head on dan's lap, or dan curled under his arm and into his chest, when they couldn't even lay down. the bed sharing is a completely different thing, but it applies everywhere at any time, for a change. and it happens at night.

this is them stuck in a post-tour but still away from home state. phil can't find it in himself to cross the lines that he doesn't even know exist, if they exist. it would seem that they retreated into their everyday home dynamic, but this isn't home and dan is covered in white, unfamiliar sheets on a semi-soft bed, and phil really wants to hug him. to just hold him, even though everything would still be okay if he doesn't. over the last few months he has been wrapping his arms around the soft, familiar body more often than not, and he wishes the unspoken boundaries would shift somehow, when they get back home.

he knows he can hug dan whenever he needs, because there's usually a reason. now he'd like to selfishly turn it into spontaneous acts of affection, too. he hates how they sleep in one bed sometimes and hold eachother very much how lovers would, but he can't really lean in and kiss dan's cheek when he finds him adorable, not because they're in love, but because there's love, and his best friend's long ago become the most important person in his life, forever, so why should there even be any lines to cross.

phil asks himself that as he clambers off the bed and walks over to dan's, stroking his arm softly to check if he's awake. dan turns, slowly, tired eyes glazed with fever.

-hey...- phil's fingers finally find themselves in dan's curls and there's no awkwardness, no protest- do you want to drink some water?

he still holds the glass up, despite both of dan's fully capable hands grasping it. it feels better, this way.

-do you want a cuddle?- dan nods and _why the hell didn't he ask sooner?_

he makes sure dan still has the duvet cocooned around him before he climbes in and pulls him flush to his side, resting his chin resting on top of the messy curls once again. for the billionth time, actually.

-thanks- dan whispers, eyes closed. he feels warm in a good way.

**Author's Note:**

> *- it's in Celsius and in Celsius 37,5 means bad
> 
> hi it me, i'm back
> 
> this is almost identical to my other hotel room fic cool because there's nothing like self-inspiration
> 
> goodnight


End file.
